RESIN

 

I

The glow you exude, my dear,
by simply sitting in your castle,
makes the whole world jealous.

I can hear your words in the wind,
but I have no codebook.

Are you there, God?
I can’t let go, I can’t!
But you’re not mine


Tell me, did she cut her hair?
Send me a wisp
I need it for witchery

You shine, my dear
yet the whole world still longs for you

These grey streets tell me
you still love me,
and the dry scent of vanilla starts spreading

***

Traffic lights wake me from dreams
I wish to give to someone new

I flinch!
If you deserve this poem, my dear
I’ll sing it to the wind

II

Years have flown by, lingering
It feels like all this time
I have been lying in the same sheets
while your hair covered me
although, you’ve never left your tower

neither on earth nor in heaven

You’ve gazed at many eyes
as if they were mine
but they all faded

I’m not yours
I’m not yours
But you don’t let go

***

Spider on the ceiling
Now some other thighs warm mine
Lights in the Boulevard go out
Another morning without you dear
But for a long time now
yo
ur stare doesn’t hurt

***

No lights in the tower

III

Do you ever drink for the old times
as if I was by your side
on Tuesdays, at midnight?

***

I raise my glass but
it doesn’t weigh the same
I can’t let go
I can’t let go

A broken mirror lies somewhere
in Nikola Tesla Boulevard
or by the sea

***

Traffic lights now wince me from the dreams
I have no one to give to
Her thighs aren’t like yours

IV

Spider on the ceiling
I buckle my belt
The black and white of the piano
smells of resin

***

I cut your hair out of my apartment
and washed your skin off my hands
and my mind

You didn’t even know
I left you to the grey
Freezing your imagination
and laid you down sleeping
on the stone slabs of your rising

I am keeping your flaws secret
Stay perfect to the world

Don’t let go
of the memory of a rare glance
This world couldn’t bare more

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DISPLACED


As I fly and I swallow the salty water around me,
I close my eyes to avoid the burning:
Babies jumping to the sky in rage,
Afrin river sinking into the red dust.
Blood is marching through my head hard,
to stifle the screams of childless mothers
overflowing the boats nearby. Thank god.
As dark clouds approach us in silence
to drop olives on our heads, I fly and swallow
my life, irrelevant and free, for death is heard
only after the dark clouds have fled.

 

Valiant_Shield_-_B2_Stealth_bomber_from_Missouri_leads_ariel_formation

 


*Dedicated to my Kurdish friend Hussein Habasch, whose family is suffering in the bombing of the city of Afrin, Syria.

THE ADAM‘S APPLE

 

You stole the apple from Adam‘s hand and
fled through a mist of arms.

Your hair is wild, it escapes me like time.
You stole the noise from my heart.

The silence is wild, even laughs at god.
I am standing here still, sinking in tempest.

Have you got any bites left, Salome?
Here, on the precipice, snow is yet falling.

lee-miller-neck1

DJINN

I stretch my smile, innocent before strangers. The past has arched up to the surface. From the deep corridors I know well, you escape so skillfully with your sticky horns.

From the profundity, one penetrates slowly, bending, feeling unbodied, heavy like a planet and down there the sun never shines.

The present is ripped and from the firmament of what is to come, underripe cherries are dripping on me. We are being separated by three years, ten thousand kilometers and countless pubic hairs pulled out. Your desires fly out of me and soar into the mexican sky.

I’m in a hurry while you use the moment to slowly dig into my ambitions. I am hiding from you that you are newborn in my arms, the blade and the glue. Again helpless, with my will torn apart, I fly towards you would we not merge together, but it is too late. Creation can not be interrupted, we are separated, I know, by the word – patience. Life emerges to the surface fresh, blind, cruel, divine, implacable and I will never be able to explain to you how painful are the swollen nipples of a woman nursing.

Only love can break through its own labyrinths.

 

 

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*WHAT IS A DJINN: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jinn

THE YARD

Yesterday I had a dream about the yard where I used to often fall down as a child. It was one of those strange, awfully long dreams, as it seems to us later while we wash our faces.
The yard was deserted for a long time, like hospital halls at dawn. Maybe it was just that the time passed so slowly, I can‘t find the right words. Suddenly a bird flew by low, coming out of the apricot treetop, which looked a lot more lavish than it really was years ago, before age set in and had completely dried it. It was a crow, I think it flew fast. Finally, the yard lit up, letting color in, and a child stepped under the tree. It looked like my sister, but it was younger, I’m not really sure any more. It wasn’t smiling, and yet, it was happy. It was standing at the bottom of the courtyard, speechless, slowly swaying it’s arms.

Apricots started falling from the sky like cannon balls – quiet and soft. The child grew up, like forced, and became a man. Was it me whom he said: ”Waiting is silence and confirmation”? He disappeared.

Cannon balls continued to fall down when I was already rubbing my bleary eyes.

apricot-fruit

ARIZONA

desert-1448579_1920On the desert’s high seas,
your hair floating,
Arizona,
you are the harsh morning of my life,
and an even colder night.
1863 days I sit still
in your lap full of sand.
You are beautiful, mum Arizona.
A little longer and I’ll sink
in your hip and your thighs,
Hesychia of stone,
and we will become one
– red silence.

 

 

OBLIVION

To shrug. To shrug
always seems like a good idea.
Trucks are blinking, days are dying.
You slept with him, it’s a shame, sigh.
Thousands of eyebrows rise in this instant;
he can, I still only falsely.
My lips stretched,
my step bloody,
I go into oblivion.

It was two in the afternoon in Bogotá,
The cabby didn’t know what Belgrade was,
the homeless man didn’t know he was being framed.
In cute little steps,
with his left pant leg rolled up slightly,
he circled with his nose fixed to the floor
around a guttered part of the sidewalk,
cane tapping as if he was going somewhere.
I thought of the vicious vastness,
and knew that it would break my heart
the coming nightfall,
the ripped plastic bag hooked to the old man’s backpack,
the cabby’s eyebrows in a spasm.

Poetry cannot do a thing, still,
I drown in buffets,
pleasant conversations,
same new streets,
silver pens and purses,
seems like a good idea
to shrug.
Latches in public toilets are clanking,
and I realize that my grandpa
understood what emptiness was
in Slankamen,
while we were having lunch on the Danube.

 

(At Charles de Gaulle, 09/12/2016)